October 9 I was quite tired. It was my second day of putting in a solid 21 and a half hour work day for the school I work at. After coming home and trying to find a way to relax, I learned that the father of one of my former students from another school had finally pled guilty to strangling her with a telephone cord after he found her texting a boy. He was quite jealous, perhaps particularly since she was 12 weeks pregnant from his incestuous relationship with her. He took her body and tried to burn it in the furnace. Last night, I was resting my body, praying for Ana, praying a little for Letterman, remembering Ana's face, her Halloween costume she wore to school the Halloween before her death the day after Valentine's day. Ana, burned in the furnace of the building where he father was a superindent. I also was thinking of my students at my new school, their faces, their private stories they shared with me. Living in shelters, molestations of their innocence, their fights, their turtles, their puppies, having no food, not having a belt. What can I do? What can I do? How can I protecte them? Why is Mayor Bloomberg and the Chancellor of Ed.lying? Why are there so many who can't read or write? How can they get to high school and nobody told them anything? Why do I only have 10 text books? Why was Ana thrown in a furnace? I was almost asleep. When suddenly I heard that song, "Hope for the Hopeless" and it was the first song in many years... that turned me inside out. I once wrote to Natalie Merchant to try to interest her in helping my dear friend, Mumia Abu-Jamal, Philadelphia's "Voice of the Voiceless" who has been languishing on death row on a false conviction for 28 years. There was no response. I was disappointed, and then I forgot she existed. But this man and his band... helped me to not have nightmares, and to hear a masterpiece, and to go through another week after Columbus Day, of 2 1/2 to 3 or 4 hours of sleep and teach my kids history, not just what's in the books, along with how to write a sentence, how to think of the future, how to maybe have a future if they can dodge the gang bullets, the bad cops, the kids from the other schools, the mother's boyfriends, the junkies, the crackheads, the thieves who like them shiny l'il I Pods.
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